By Angela Gant
Character List
Man- in his late thirties and debating about the worst decision of his life.
Voice- Woman who circles around Man and is a young version of his mother
Outside Voice- Man’s wife. She is never seen on stage
Outside Voice
(Knocking)
You’ve been in there half the night. Are you okay?
Man
I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute.
Voice
You’re stalling.
Man
I don’t know if I can go through with this.
Voice
Don’t go soft on me now.
Man
I just don’t know how I feel about this.
Voice
Yes, you do. You know.
Man
No, I don’t. Don’t tell me what I know and what I don’t. ‘Cause I know— what I know.
Voice
There’s the big man I’ve been looking for.
Man
I just don’t know if she likes me in that way, you know.
Voice
How much clearer can she make it to you?
Man
I’m afraid to ask. I don’t know what to do.
Voice
You see the way she looks at you.
Man
Yeah.
Voice
Then you know what to do.
Man
I just don’t know if it’s right. I mean, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. She’s so perfect. The way she looks at me. She always smells so clean, you know. Fresh and clean.
Voice
What’s there not to be right? She looks at you like she wants you. She gives you all the right signals. She makes excuses to spend time with you. How much clearer do you want it to be? You know how to treat a lady, right?
Man
I suppose.
Voice
Treat her like the lady she is.
Man
I just want her to like me back. What if she really doesn’t like me? What if I’m wrong? I just can’t help it. I like her so much. I can’t stop thinking about her.
Voice
You’re mother taught you the right way to treat a lady.
Man
You leave my mother out of this.
Voice
Whether you like her—or respect her—or not, she taught you how a lady likes to be treated. You need to buy her gifts, make her feel important, let her know she’s loved. In bed, you have to be gentle at first (overlaps)
Man
Gentle at first. She she’ll let you know when she’s ready. You can tell. Look at the expression on her face. See if she’s wet; if she’s not, make her wet.
Outside Voice
Are you okay in there?
Man
I said I was fine. I’ll… I’ll be out in a minute.
Outside Voice
Just thought you might have fallen in.
Voice
It’s just like riding a bike.
Man
I don’t want to fall off.
Voice
You’re not going to. Just remember everything your mother taught you. Remember your first time.
Man
Don’t do this.
Voice
You remember, don’t you?
Man
Don’t.
Voice
Your first real experience at manhood.
Man
Please.
Voice
Don’t go soft on me now. Remember it.
Man
Yes.
Voice
Then tell me.
Man
I just don’t know what to do.
Voice
You know. Look, this is not a life and death situation. Just take a deep breath and try and relax.
Man
You really think she likes me—in that way, I mean.
Voice
Did you see the bathing suit she was parading around in front of you in? And with your wife standing right there? How brazen can you be?
Man
But, she’s so young.
Voice
Older than you were.
Man
By a year.
Voice
Try six.
Man
What do you know, anyway?
Voice
Everything.
Man
She’s only thirteen.
Voice
The way she taunts you.
Man
Maybe she doesn’t mean too.
Voice
The way she goes out of her way to spend time with you.
Man
I’m her father for Chrissake.
Voice
Stepfather.
Man
What’s the difference?
Voice
I would say there’s a lot of difference there. She wasn’t really your mother.
Man
She was my stepmother.
Voice
Didn’t that make it okay?
Man
Just stop.
Voice
Now, you know that’s not the right response. You have to be a big man now. Didn’t mom want you to show her what a big man you were? Don’t go soft on me now.
Man
I can do it. I’m a man. I’m a real man
Voice
You’re a big man. Show mama what a big man you are.
Man
She won’t love me anymore, if I do it.
Voice
(Pause)
Maybe she won’t love you anymore, if you don’t. Did you ever think of that? As a man, there are certain expectations you have to meet. Isn’t that what your mother taught you?
Outside Voice
Are you going to be in there all night?
Man
I said I’d be out in a fucking minute.
Outside Voice
Well, if you want to stay in there and miss your own daughter’s birthday, you just enjoy yourself. She’s been asking for you all night. The least you can do is come down stairs for a minute. It’s her thirteenth birthday. She’s a teenager now—and for some ungodly reason, she would like to spend it with you.
Man
Don’t say that
Outside Voice
(Seductively.)
She wants you.
Man
What?
Outside Voice
(Seductively)
You know she wants you.
Man
I don’t know.
Outside Voice
(Seductively)
You want her don’t you?
Man
What are you saying?
Outside Voice
(Normal and annoyed)
I said, she wants to see you, and you want to see her, right? So be a man and get out of there.
Voice
That’s right. Be a man.
Man
I am a man.
Voice
Prove it.
Outside Voice
All right, big man—get your ass out here.
Man
Don’t call me that.
Outside Voice
Sometimes you like it, sometimes you don’t. I really don’t care just get your ass out here.
Voice
Show her you’re a man. Prove it.
Man
Oh, I’ll prove it.
Voice
Show her how much you love her.
Man
I’ll make her love me.
Voice
That’s the spirit.
Man
She’ll love me.
Voice
Just like I always did. Remember what your mother always told you; you always have to finish what you start.
Man
I always finish. (Exiting)
Outside Voice
It’s about time. I was starting to worry about you.
Voice
I know you do. Just never go soft on me again.
The End.
